Time flies, now is already the mid of October...I feel so distressed recently, not because my days are unhappy, but I think it's my heart and thought...........

Really want to have a run away trip and think of nothing at all, no worries, no bother !!!

God, pls.......help me......

I feel like...I am riding on a roller coaster...emotionally!!!!

So many things have happened recently, still many things are going on....obviously, me and my friends are kinda exhausted in mentally and stressed out due to some servings...although there are hard times, but I do thanks God for putting us together and work on something as a team...this is a super nice feeling...espcially when we practiced for the worship...we stood as a circle and sang...it was really like a "team", very unforgettable experience !  We all grow through these....

And God really has a great sense of humor...he had put me into different kind of servings, during my depressed time of spiritually...this is sacarstic....i am serving....but my spiritual life is not good...shameful, guilt, tiresome feeling, unforseen situation, uncertainties, insecurity, confusion, a blameful me......all these...just make me wanna quit and escape....but I know I can't....I gotta face what I am facing right now....there's so much for me to do and I must begin fulfilling those..I can't live without a goal !!!!  This is impossible !

Father...how come I am always like this, this is my biggest weakness, ever since I was a teenager, how wicked....I wish I can let go and follow You...but sometimes I am not capable to do so, I refuse, i escape, i ignore and i feel like I am being ignorant because of my decisions.........what am I looking for?.........

你說世界太複雜 難題重重誰願代答
我說世界太空白 前途茫茫夢想尚未滿額

你我既抗拒長大 何妨重回童稚狀態
看看世界那麼壞 孩童如何盡化解

學會 不加裝飾的製造句子
學會 不必兜圈的表達意思
學會 不修邊幅的醞釀構思
讓你 不經污染的心作主

學會 簡簡單單將快樂透支
學會 歡歡喜喜的積善布施
學會 輕輕鬆鬆的配合拍子
讓你 天空海闊的心這天
再生一次

Today I read the lyric of this kiddy song and reminded me about the childhood, ha ha, now I sing again and have a different feeling, understand more the indepth mening of this song.  Very true....sometimes we just think and worry too much, should learn from a kid, be simple and sincere and happy like them~~  Simple is Beautiful..., Jesus wants us to be like that too.

Dear Heavenly Father, I feel that I am loosing my faith sometimes, I feel I am lacking of motivation, what should I do?  Seems so many things that I can do or I must do, but I just don't feel like facing the reality, keep procrastinating, keep escaping from taking the responsiblities, shame of me....please , I hate this "me"....!!

It've been a year since Arthur left, time flies, month after month, I feel numb already, I know his hard work and both of us are stilll waiting, it's not easy to keep faith in difficult situation.

 I admit that I am a coward....Lord, I know sometimes I just shake your hand off even you wanna hold me tight, the sad thing is...I feel I have no power to overcome even I wanna taste your sweetness in my life and under any circumstance. 

Lord....I miss the days that I was walking with you, and I am wandering nowhere right now.

But still, I have to thank You for still loving me and not letting me go, I know I have to be strong and I will not give up, I think I know why I feel down, cos I am not satisfy with my spiritual status, I know that I get drag out from so many distractions, and there's a voice keep urging me not to do what and have to do what, so many times these things are contradicting with my own plan/wish/desire, struggling inside my heart, and that's what bother me so much !!!

Lord Father, I miss you....

Keep busy in these days.....attended few graduations in the past 2 weeks !!!  Never happened before!!!  Made a crapbook to Potato Wing...with lots of support from other friends too, without them, this cannot be completed, thanks everyone !!!

Also, when I opened out my be-lated b-day gift box from her...I was so touched !!!!  Chicken King necklace, Koalar magnet, the skin care thing, the card with words.....everything is so sweet and could tell she had spend soem times on preparing those..and the meaning of the gifts are special...those are all related to our daily conversation topics, remind me a lot of good times b/w us !!!!  Thanks PW, you know you are always my best friend !!!!!!  I really really treasure you a lot and I thanks Lord for letting us know each other and accompany with each other in different moments !!!!

PS: Our newest & hottest game recently.....Brother V.....K & L......